This is a letter I wrote to MWM after watching her long-anticipated Aladdin (a school play performed by Sunrise Drive Elementary students), during which I felt my heart was wrenched.
Dearest sweetie pie,
I love you. I realized that sometimes I seem to have a lot to tell you, but it all comes down to “I love you.”
Last night, I felt sad when I saw that you didn’t seem to be having fun at your show Aladdin.
I noticed that you weren’t singing much or even dancing with the group. I noticed that you were pre-occupied. You had this pensive look on your face instead of dancing and singing like you did when you practiced at home.
This little girl, who you mentioned was totally out of line and disrupting the group’s performance, seemed to be having the time of her life, without a care for anyone around her. (Which is not necessarily the right thing to do, and in fact, it is wrong to be so inconsiderate to others.)
But as your mother, I’m selfish. I wanted to see my daughter have a great time, without a care for what others are doing or what they think of her.
I love you, please remember that.
I’m not telling you that I wish you behaved differently. I’m in fact very proud of you for your awareness of the entire group’s cohesiveness and you know whenever another member of the crew says a word wrong in his/her assigned line(s) because you know all the lines in the play by heart.
The qualities you possess, such as noticing details, knowing not only your part but also all the other member’s roles & lines, courage to step up and tell others when they are doing something wrong, make you an amazing leader.
I can’t be prouder of you! But my love for you conflicts with my pride in you.
On one hand, as your mother, I wish that you were not worried about others: what they did right or wrong. On the other hand, I am so proud that you are even aware of what’s going on around you, and to the degree that you take the entire group’s performance on your own shoulder, especially as one of the youngest performers in the group.
Do you understand what I mean?
While everyone is inspired and proud of Martin Luther King for his accomplishment and sacrifices, I’m not sure how many mothers actually want Their own sons to be MLK…
Again, I’m not asking you to change who you are. I just want to let you know what I meant last night.
I love you, that’s all.
- Do you sometimes feel selfish as a parent?
- Do you sometimes wish that your kid is not as kind, as compassionate, as conscientious as they are?
- Do you wish that they take on less weight on their shoulders and enjoy their lives a little more?
- Do you wish that your kid will never enter medicine like you or your partner?
- What would you say to your kid if you see that their enjoyment is sacrificed by their concerns for others?
Share your parenting insights below; thank you!