Like anyone else, doctor and doctor’s wife (or doctor and doctor’s husband), their children means a whole world to them. Yes it does suck to miss lots of their milestones while you are working inhumane hours at the hospital saving lives, getting paged to excuse yourself out of your kid’s birthday party for the 10thy year in a roll. Hopefully the doctors’ families get a bit more understanding and support from the society.
1. Silver spoon.
I’m not harping on this. My borrow money from my 8 year old (Mini Wise Money) to pay off my high interest rate student loan. Sure I made her an irresistible deal of guaranteed 10% annual interest, but she gets the idea quickly as a 4 year old, “mommy, you are the poorest hardest working person I know.”
Most doctors’ kids are raised with metal spoons, possibly from the Good Will (given the nomadic life style required of a physician in training. We moved 9 times before settling for internship/residence/fellowship in the same town, which in itself without intentional planning and jumping through many hoops during interview seasons as 4th year, is Rare.)
2. Selfish brats.
They learn early on the value of service to others. They know, when explained and embodied by their loving parents that the only reason that daddy or mommy is absent from your piano recital is because he or she is saving the life of another adorable kid like you.
It’s not because of money… not because of fame or anything self-serving that your parent miss such an important moment with you.
Kids see the example and become very caring and giving themselves.
3. So smart that they don’t need any help.
They are frequently too smart for their own good. They are precocious little ones that may tell a stranger at dinner party to eat broccoli to avoid colon cancer; tell her school friends to cut back on sugary foods so they don’t go blind or lame one day. (Just a few things Mini Wise Money has said…)
They also suffer from a pretty strong and relentless of self-awareness and self-examination. They are their own hardest critics. They are driven without external forces…
They need more help, attention, support than your average happy-go-lucky-game-boy-TV kid…
4. Confident.
Not exactly. Unfortunately, this may a trait A breeds trait A situation. The constant evaluation from head to toe and the medical training hazing doctors go through don’t exactly inspire confidence. So while many doctors are the highest performing/functioning human beings with inversely proportional level of self-confidence, so do some of their kids suffer the same.
5. They naturally will be doctors too.
Some doctors’ kids will not touch a career in medicine with a 10 foot pole after seeing what their parents went through. Some kids are so inspired by their parents that they are inspired to stand on the shoulder of the giant they love and adore. Some kids, like Mini Wise Money, “I will only be a doctor if I can skip residency. It’s a cool job without that part.”
It’s never easy to be known as coming after and related to a well-respected, extremely successful individual. Give these kids of doctors the benefit of doubt. They may sound really smart and know a lot; they are kids after all. Build them up like you would any other child. Challenge them without crushing them. Love them; imagine all the moments this kid’s dad/ or mom missed with him or her while saving the lives of your loved ones.
You may also enjoy reading 5 myths about doctors our society believes and 5 Myths about the Dr.’s Wife (or Husband). Join us in Physician Support Initiative to make healthier, happier, and more effective doctors.
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Your daughter sounds adorable and really sweet. She’s lucky to have you as a mom and role model. I love her quote, “I will only be a doctor if I can skip residency. It’s a cool job without that part.”