“I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.”
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
Hi Wise Money Shopper,
Thank you for your reply and for the poems which you post. I appreciate it.
In the 1990’s, I read a book by Life magazine “The Meaning of Life” which was a collection of famous and ordinary people’s answer to the age old question:
https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Life-Reflections-Words-Pictures/dp/0316294020
http://www.maryellenmark.com/text/magazines/life/905W-000-037.html
I used to think life was very intentional but I wonder about that now.
Thinking about Whitman and grief and his bird symbol this week, something occurred to me. I was speaking to a friend who had a family member die 20 years ago and he mentioned writing a letter to his son a month after he died but not reading it again until 10 years later. I wondered about why I felt somewhat guilty about not writing a letter to someone I loved who died. I thought, is there something wrong with me or maybe I’ve let them down ?
I think sometimes grief goes back to childhood things also. People cope with grief differently and it’s very individual. I think there is no right or wrong. Maybe the fact that I feel guilty about not writing more letters says more about me than whoever died. I like Whitman’s fusion fantasy with the loved one, going back to the ocean, but it does seem to involve too much projection and effort at times. Maybe we don’t have to feel like we have to project their voice forever (is this possible?). It’s probably ok to get on with our lives also and just live and not feel guilty about that at all.
I hope you have a good week.
I think you are right, a way forward can involve us looking after ourselves and one another.
Hi again,
I’m always happy to find fellow readers 🙂 You physicians amaze me. I often think if I had to study or work the hours you do, I’d have no hobbies other than sleeping.
I hope life is intentional exactly the way we live it with intent. We can’t control most outcomes, but at least we can control most of our reasons, I think.
So your friend wrote their son a month after the son died, but your friend didn’t read that letter again for 10 years? Am I getting this right? And you thought how come you haven’t done the same? It is as you say people cope differently. Your process just didn’t call for that, and it’s okay. It’s also valid to wonder about it. Lord knows (I mean my therapists) know how much I wondered about doing or not doing something.
Guilt after loss is a tricky thing. I think we all feel “is there something wrong with me” or “maybe I’ve let them down”.
” Maybe we don’t have to feel like we have to project their voice forever (is this possible?). It’s probably ok to get on with our lives also and just live and not feel guilty about that at all.”
That’s the dream!
Happy Valentine’s Day 🙂
-Elva