Poetry Ptuesday: The Meaning of Life by Nancy Fitzgerald

[This week’s poem arrives later than usual, my apologies. Tomorrow would have been Amanda’s 35th birthday. It is the third one after she killed herself. I always wonder about that. Did she think of how many more birthdays she would not have? Or take last month, how many more Mother’s Day(s)? Or, since she committed suicide two days before Thanksgiving, did she think about that one? (Confession: I had to look this up, I’d forgotten the date Thanksgiving fell on that year.) Or all the new Thanksgivings after that? I had planned a menu that Thanksgiving. I heard from Mini’s dad in the afternoon. The next day I still went grocery shopping. I had a spreadsheet for all my items I made before I knew my sister was dead. In a really crowded market I answered the call from an organization that coordinates organ donation, and heard this man tell me that it was too late for harvesting to be viable. Then I must have gone home and cooked. Perhaps tomorrow I will cook too. I guess even if it doesn’t feel like it, we’re incredibly lucky to have so many more meals and days we don’t even have to think about before they’re already past us.]

 

The Meaning of Life

There is a moment just before

a dog vomits when its stomach

heaves dry, pumping what’s deep

inside the belly to the mouth.

If you are fast you can grab

her by the collar and shove her

out the door, avoid the slimy bile,

hunks of half chewed food

from landing on the floor.

You must be quick, decisive,

controlled, and if you miss

the cue and the dog erupts

en route, you must forgive

her quickly and give yourself

to scrubbing up the mess.

 

Most of what I have learned

in life leads back to this.

 

Ace That Test: The Civics Test for U.S. Naturalization

Okay, so y’all know Ace That Test was a real thing with my late sister Amanda. And though I didn’t receive as much formal schooling, and generally fared worse considering the whole of our academic careers, my sister and I are/were both big fans of tests. I know that traditional, standardized testing is a whole tub of worms, but yours truly is basically just a chimp who selfishly enjoys the instant gratification of reading a problem and knowing the answer. Few feelings to me compare to that mixture of satisfaction, relief, and excitement.

 

Well anyway, after many long years, I now have one test coming up! It’s uniquely structured in that up to ten out of a pool of the same hundred questions are given every time. Which means, as long as you know all 100 answers, it’s impossible to get less than a perfect score. So, what’s left to do but make a study guide?

(more…)

Poetry Ptuesday: The Journey by Mary Oliver

On day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice–

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do–

determined to save

the only life you could save.

 

*

 

(for Mini)

Poetry Ptuesday: Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

[Desiderata: something considered necessary or highly desirable.]

*****

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

*****

[I’ve decided I’m going to start typing each Poetry Ptuesday instead of copy-and-pasting. I enjoy spend this time with the words, and I apologize for any mistakes. I do triple check.]

 

Happy Tuesday πŸ™‚

Starting Today: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

I started this yesterday but I heard you can go on the internet and lie πŸ˜‰

 

Here are the first lines:

 

“Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet. 1977, May 3, six thirty in the morning, no one knows anything but this innocuous fact: Lydia is late for breakfast.”

 

“Everything I Never Told You” is Ng’s debut novel. Hulu optioned her second full-length novel “Little Fires Everywhere” for adaptation into a series.

Ng’s favorite contemporary works include The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, Beloved by Toni Morrison, Bel Canto by Ann Patchett, and Amy and Isabelle by Elizabeth Strout. (from her Wikipedia page). I own and have read Beloved. I own and have not read The God of Small Things, and do not own the other two books on the list. I think I just figured out what I’ll read next πŸ˜‰

 

Happy Monday.